Vision

To create a world where children coping with loss grow up whole and healed and able to live up to their unique potential.  They become the next generation of healers for children in grief.

Our Premise

"The world is driven by unresolved grief.  Whether you are talking about a country's despot, our world leaders, or you or me.  The world is driven by unresolved grief." 
Rabbi Stuart Gershon, Temple Sinai, Summit, NJ

Mary Robinson, Executive Director and Founder

"Good Grief was founded in the spring of 2004 when over 60 caring children and adults - the true founders of Good Grief - came together over the course of three days to create a future vision of a world where children coping with loss get the care and support they need. But for me, Good Grief was born in my heart over 30 years ago when at the age of 14 I received the following note from a neighbor after the death of my father:

"Dear Mary, I am so sorry for your great loss. I always think unhappy times are the hardest for young people to bear. But I think they have a way of making one grow up with a lot more compassion. The thing that helps me feel better when I'm sad is to think that nothing - feelings or situations - good or bad, last forever. Take Care. Sincerely, Eleanor Schenck."

I don't know if this was the only sympathy card I received from an adult after my father's death, but it is the only one I kept. It is yellowed and well-read. I held on to it like a lifeline, for it gave me hope that something good could come out of something so incomprehensible and painful.

Years later when Mrs. Schenck was in a coma and dying of cancer, I gave a copy of this note to her daughter who was maintaining a bedside vigil. Though her mother could not speak, Karen was able to hear her mother's voice and compassion through this note, written 20 years earlier to comfort someone else's sad daughter. And it became a comfort to her.

What I love about this story is it is an example of how powerful a simple act, made by an adult, can be in the life of a child in grief. And the ripple effect of that simple act. What this note said to me is:

• I see you.
• Your loss matters.
• Your sadness won't last forever.

These are the messages grieving children need from adults. Parents, teachers and adults often ask us "what should I say" or "what should I do" when a child they know has experienced a painful loss. We say give them your love. Give them your time. Give them your attention. Give them your optimism that they will get through this.  And let them lead the way.  They will show you what they need.

The day my father died I was out shopping for a get well card for him with two of my friends. Though I had been told by my mother it would "take a miracle for daddy to come home from the hospital," I never doubted we would get that miracle.

Until recently I thought of this as an example of being in denial. But as my mother recently pointed out, it was also an example of hope, of all of our hopes - that daddy would come home. And without hope, none of us could go on in the face of the world's suffering.

As adults it is our job to help children navigate life's painful losses and create loving supportive communities in which children can mourn their losses in healthy ways. That is the work of Good Grief. That is the work I am blessed and privileged to do with the founders, staff, and Board of Directors of Good Grief."